Update on My Life -- Rusty

I know, I know. I start the entry off the same way every time. I'll
spare you all the reading and just get right to it.

As some of you know, I felt it necessary to retire my dog guide,
Rusty. No, retire doesn't mean kill. It means that he is no longer a
working dog. On our way home in the afternoons, he would sit down on
me every few minutes. The extreme heat exhausted him terribly. I knew
something was wrong. And it wasn't like I could change my lifestyle--I
have to take the bus. Our car has been totaled since May 11.

Anyway, one of my favorite Mamas took him. She's had him since the
14th. I know that he loves being over there with her family and two
dogs. She loves on him, he gets to exercise, and all is well.

She told me that hshe was looking for another job. The job that she
applied for would keep her out of the house for at least 12 hours
daily. This would not be good for Rusty at all, so we agreed that she
would look for a good home for my baby. Obviously, she got the job;
and Rusty? He has to have a new home.

While at the NFB Convention in Detroit, I officially signed the paper
to de-certify him as a dog guide. I handed over the ID as well. I
prayed hard the night before so that I wouldn't break down. This was
one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It hurt me so bad. I
have been broken up about it. I am truly grieving.

I guess when it comes to signing papers, handing in ID's, sending back
harnesses, finding a new home, it's all so hard because you know
there's no turning back. There's no changing my mind. It's a wrap,
people.

Well, until Saturday morning, we had done everything but find him a
new home. But Saturday morning was the day. Two young ladies came a
calling for my baby.

They seemed like great people to me and MOT (my other mother). They
have an Australian Shepherd at home; Rusty would have company. He will
get to go to work with his master; Rusty would feel like he has a job.
And they both are young; Rusty would be with someone who also has
energy like himself. And I did the unselfish, unthinkable thing... I
let him go...

God! I have cried. I have screamed. I have wailed. I have grieved. The
pain inside is so deep. I know that God alone is holding me together.
This is not me. I am incapable of this amount of strength.

I heard from MOT on Saturday night, she heard from Rusty's potential
owners. They said that he had a wonderful day. At his new home, he
played. At her work, he played. He played all day. In fact, he played
so hard that he played himself to sleep. Boy! It sounds like a great
situation for him to be in! I really hope it works out for him.

For me, it still hurts. I am crying as I write this. I will have more
to tell you after I call today to see how he's doing. Thanks, yall,
for listening. Those that pray to the Lord Jesus Christ, please keep
me in your prayers.