What's Been Going On....

>I know, I know! It's been forever and ever since I've posted. A lot has been going on too. I want to try and update you all.

First, I want to thank those who have left comments. You are my heroes!!! I appreciate you reading and even taking time to comment. God bless yall!

This post takes place in October. It was an ongoing issue that happened all year long off and on up until now. I'm using the pen of my sister, Leniqua, cuz... well, she's more eloquent than I. I will include my remarks in parentheses.

"I never really do this, but I wanna dedicate this blog to all women who thought they had found the man of their dreams only to find out it wasn't going to work out. Also, if you've had a dream or vision and it seems so close, you could almost taste it, then it was viciously ripped from you, this is for you. Most of my blogs do come from my heart, well they are birthed at my heart and expressed through my mind. But me sharing with you is part of my overcoming and obtaining another victory in my life; and knowing how it feels to experience unexpected loss, I will write this with the utmost care. So let's get into the word, shall we?

"One day, my prince will come.... OH! Is that him?" This is something every woman thinks when they meet a man that seems to complete them in ways others before them have failed. A hope begins to rise and dreams that seemed to have been brutally murdered begin to breathe the breath of life. Well, of course since we've been hurt before, we're cautious about the whole thing. Let him know we care? HECK NO! That's how "these men" gain the advantage over us; no, we have to be mysterious so we can stay in control of our emotions, right? *smiles* yes yes yes, I know.Well, then there comes the part where this "secret" grows to the point where it can no longer be contained. It starts showing in our countenance when we see this captivating man; we find ourselves caring more and more about what he thinks. So we take a courageous step forward, and no I dont use that for dramatization, when you've been hurt as bad as you have, it takes REAL courage and faith to open up again, right? Yes, once again, I know, it's ok. This is a scary place we've gotten ourselves into now; but seriously, it couldn't be helped. After all, we're not the ones that pursued; we dont do that anymore, we've already learned that lesson. And this man is quite persistant, isn't he? It's very hard not to yield to a man that seems to know what he wants and persistantly pursues, right?Well, you go on in life, changing nothing about yourself for this man, yet he remains. You have arguements and fights, but you two resolve them, better than you and any of his successors have. That's amazing isn't it. This has to be prince charming, right? Oh how situations have a way of building faith and hope! Even if he has yet to express his regard, his actions are SCREAMING way louder than any words ever could, huh? Then as if an answered prayer, he implies his regards verbally through the little things he says. JACKPOT! This has to be a go, yes? *smiles* Little do we truly know, sure we speculate, but we dont truly know that this next move is going to be riveting. All at once, it's over. You are asked to leave, to go, to stop. (Or he does something that you honestly can't believe. You're shocked out of your mind.) HUH? I'm sorry, are you not the same man that only a few days ago was saying that's not what you wanted? Confusion spreads like a flood through our minds and all at once we begin to sink. Feeling betrayed and hurt, we have to lash out one more time, unsure that we truly know this man that we use to connect with so easy, we are left wondering, "Did that last blow of my words (or actions) hold any affect?" Nonetheless, all hopes and dreams are brought to a bitter hault. All at once, we're left there holding a breaking heart. Now what?

Of course we have to go on and move on, which is what everyone around us will continuously remind us. They dont think of (or understand) the pain we might be experiencing (if you haven't had this process happen to you, how much can you understand); they forget how much love hurts. We start feeling incredibly stupid for allowing ourselves to think this could have worked. Satan has a field day with our emotions and minds. Sure, as a godly woman, we know that everything has passed through God's hands and it's for our good, but seriously, COME ON GOD! Right? Our minds start racing, we begin to think it was our fault. Being that above all, our relationship with God takes precedence, we search our hearts to see if we have violated His law and this is the punishment. Repentance flows as freely as the tears that wont cease; our cries are heard before God both night and day. But now what? Then we think, "Oh, I must repent for my spout of ill words because that's not what a woman of God would do." So, we repent and everything has been cleansed in the situation, except the pain in our hearts. Now what?

Well, this is usually where we stop being hurt and get MAD AS HELL! Am I right? I mean, seriously, there's only so much crying we're going to do. (Yes, this was me! Full of unforgiveness, anger, murder and hated every man that walked the earth. I thought they were stupid and insensitive. But in my spirit, I knew that only God could deliver me from this hard, dark, lonely, painful place.) What now? YOU STOP! You point that anger in the right direction... THE DEVIL! Because although everything has passed through the hands of God as being for your good, the devil has assembled with the foul spirits of bitterness, rage, man hatred, depression, murder, and anger, and they have cooked up an EXTRAVAGANT plan for your life now. Oh yes, they plan to run the show now.They've taken snapshots and wav. sounds of the things that mattered most, and they will play them back over and over again, all the while intensifying the pain. "Close your heart, you dont need this", "You can't trust people", "Revenge is sweet, just pray that he gets what's coming to him". Look at that, they even made is spiritual! "King David prayed evil on his enemies and asked for vengence...he prayed some pretty ugly prayers, take Ps. 18 for example.. yeah come on, let's go pray that against this man" Doesn't sound too bad does it?

OHHHHH... But this is just a distraction, women of God.The real enemy is NOT that man; yes, you read me right. Those spirits of bitterness, of anger, of rage, of male hatred... these are your enemies. The spirits of opression, depression, self hatred, and in some cases, lesbianism..these are your enemies that you need be praying against. Satan knows if he can divert your focus off of the real issue, he has more time to plant his seeds and build the wall enclosing your heart, so even the presence of God can't get in. OH SATAN, I'M SO SICK OF YOU! And yes, this is from a personal standpoint. Some of you might not be at this point yet, but I'm so soldier minded right now, I see this outlandish plot and I'm PISSED OFF about it!Woman of God, your war is not with flesh and blood. NO, it's in the spirit realm. Satan is trying to take you out! While you're turned preying on your assailant, he's behind your back stabbing you, trying to drain the life of God from your heart. STAY FOCUSED! It's only the life of God that has the power to heal, but He will only heal what you reveal. The devil wants to cover that pain with anger and bitterness, Don't do it! Yes, it hurts, but it takes a lot less time for God to go straight to the wounds than have to take the time to breakthrough months and years of bitterness. See what I'm saying?Yes, I'm directing this towards women, but man of God, the same goes for you. Cuz I know it's not only women who experience this, but I was just concentrating on them because I'm one!

People of God, the devil is out not to kill us so much physically, but he wants to suck the life out of our hearts. He's out to make a bunch of zombies: the living dead. Dont fall victim to this scheme.Keep it real with yourself and with God, "LORD I'M HURTING! HELP ME!" Dont lie to yourself and say, "I'm ok, i'll just get over it" It doesn't work that way, and we all know this to be true. The very thing you think you've gotten over comes back to haunt us given the right situation. I'm imploring you, just as I continually implore myself, AVOID THE SNARE! I spoke of this from a romantic relationship standpoint, but it goes for every part of life that requires your hope and faith. Hope keeps folks alive; the devil knows if he can take that... he's got him a new soul to hold on to. Give your heart, your mind, your will, and your emotions to God; He's the only one you can truly trust with them. The pain will pass, I promise.. just keep your eyes focused on God and He is more than faithful to thrawt the devil's plots and heal our broken hearts. God Bless."